Being born was the easy part.

Well I have made it to the ripe OLD age of 28. Pretty sure that number will take some getting used to! You see I have decided this morning that being born was mere child's play. Well compared to the rest of life. I mean for me it was a piece of cake. Don't get me wrong I was totally ticked off and come out ready to tell everyone exactly how I felt about it. Only I had not learned to speak the language of those around me. So out of utter disgust I just cried. I am certain that things were harder on my mom. She after all had to endure the labor and such. Sure I was cold, cheesy, had my eyes covered in some sort of goo, was poked and prodded in all kids of ways. But no matter how unsightly I may have looked at that moment. EVERYONE thought I was the sweetest, prettiest and most perfect baby girl. I had my entire family wrapped around my finger in no time. Yeah, you could say life was good!

And life is still good. I have much to be thankful for. My family, my friends, my job, the Gospel, my heath and even the fact that I am turning 28! You see I was a sick little thing and my Mom tells the story of looking at me through the window as they were getting ready to Life flight me out. She asked the question to me Grandma "What if he needs her more than I do?"

Have no fear folks there I was not ready to go back just yet. I am thankful that my 1 month old self decided to hang in there a little longer. I would have missed out on so much had I only had 1 month of this "Earth Life Fun." So I am thankful I am here.

But I will be honest I am having a hard time with the whole 28 thing. I guess it is because if you round up I am 30!!! How did this happen? I sort of feel like my life is in a continuous circle with no end and nothing in sight to shkae things up. I had no idea that my life would look like this at 28. Oh how I had plans for my life and they have sort of... Not happened.

But there is still time. At least I hope there is. Sometimes life is just hard. And often around our Birthdays that we get all reflective. So after much soul searching I have come to this conclusion: Being born was the easy part. The rest of life is when things get tricky. All we can do is enjoy the ride the best we can.

So I will grab my helmet, buckle up and see what the next 28 years has is store.

What made that a good idea in your head??

There are things about my "Just another day at the office" that are strange by definition. The people I meet and the things I see are always entertaining. And often down right disturbing. There are times when I shake my head and sit in wonder and Awe. Wondering how so many people make it to adulthood without major harm to themselves. There are so many strange people out there. And sure they are nice and all. However I often find myself thinking..."What made that a good idea in your head?"

You see there are a few things that you should just think about before you do. I know that in my line of work I will on a daily basis hold in my hand multiple bodily fluids. I am totally fine with this. In fact it does not bother me in the least. There are words that are in my everyday vocabulary that are not in most peoples. Like urine, stool, blood, serum, sputum...the list could go on and on. But to keep you form dry heaving and not see this post out to the end I will assume you get the idea.

So just because I am totally fine with said items. That does not mean I want them handed across the counter and into my FACE!!! This is why I say people need to think before they do. What in the world would make a person think I (or any lab person) would enjoy their specimen to be inches form our face. Not to mention the large red signs all over the counter that read "Do not place specimens on the counter." I know that most people just want to do the hand off as quick as possible. And if eye contact could be avoided that would be even better. But you see we must follow the rules and do things according to protocol. So shoving your samples into our faces is not going to make this interaction we are about to have any less awkward. We are here for you and would love to help you with ANY sample you bring us. All we ask is that we are able to take care of it with our hands and not our face.

I had an experience the other day that is now very near the top of my "Why is this happening?" list. I am talking about those experiences we all have that make us look around for the cameras. And raise our eyebrows ever so slightly. I seem to have a lot of these experiences and there is never a camera to be found.

So there I was doing a Bilirubin test on a sweet newborn. He was doing a great job of filling the air with screaming. While his parents were in their own little world. Let me first tell you a little about the parents. They were rocker's of sorts. Mom was looking like she had just had a baby tired and hapy. But dad...He was wearing SKINNY JEANS!!! For those who don't know this about me...Skinny Jeans freak me right out. Well while I was allowing the blood fill my tube. Dad decided this was a great time to serenade his wife. I am not kidding folks! I can't make this stuff up. He was dancing, singing and caressing her face. It was like my own private concert. I wanted so badly to say "Don't mind me." But instead I was in such shock that I said nothing. I simple finished my draw and sent them on their way.

You see friends there are some things that should be thought through. I remember these little things that I think are totally strange. Then I wonder how many times I have been on the other end and made my way to the top of somebodies "Why is this happening" list. Life is good and the awkward and even annoying moments make it that much better!!

His name shall be HENRY!

You know when you have a very large Elephant in the room. Well I am living with said Elephant. He has moved in, follows me from room to room, has a looming presence. And to my knowledge is not paying any portion of the rent. I have yet to be formerly introduced and to be frank I am OK with that. I tend to get attached to things once I know their name. And I am ready for him to be gone FOREVER! I know that he is a him because he is causing me some serious grief. Like most men in my life. So using my deductive reasoning skills I have determined he is in fact a HIM!

I have been told we are not going to talk about him. We will pretend he does not exist and all will be well. I am not entirely sure how this will work. You see he is the size of an ELEPHANT!!! But alas I will refrain and not talk about him. I will instead feel his beady little eyes peer into the back of head. He is very taunting. He wants to be talked about. You see he is somewhat of a glory hog. But seeing as we are not allowed to talk about him at this time. He is going to just hang in the air taunting me.

I am not sure how long he will stay. But as long as he is here I have decided he needs a name. Not his actual name. Remember I have attachment issues and especially to inanimate objects. So I will give him a name of my choosing. That name shall be Henry. It is a good Strong name. And the first 2 letters reconfirm that he is a he. Also I like to say it because it makes me think of Ever After and a good Chick Flick reference is always nice.

So Henry welcome to my house. I hope you enjoy your stay. Please feel free to do any tiding up in you spare time. And remember I will not be the least bit sad to see you leave. Until then lets try to make this arrangement the best we can for everyone.

Gummy Worms, Stickers and Lolly Pops.

I know this may make me sound like some sort of freak. But I am going to tell you all this little known fact about myself! My favorite age to draw blood from is without a doubt 7-11!!! Please don't think I am some of weird-o that enjoys sticking needles into children for no good reason. There is a reason behind my need to puncture their skin. Blood is needed to allow the Dr to know how make them feel better. This a little mind game we play as Phlebotomisits, it makes coming to work and making children cry a lot easier to swallow. You see we are helping them not hurting them.

So why is this select age my favorite? They are the most curious about what I am doing. They can be involved. Most of them think it is pretty cool to see their blood fill the tubes. They try so hard to be brave. Yet they still want mom and dad to be close by. They are still willing to let a Lolly Pop make us friends again. In their eyes a Princess or Spider Man sticker is a piece offering.

When I have a patient of this age group I love to let them help me. Don't go getting all excited...I never let them handle the needle. But I love to explain everything I am doing as I do it. They think I have the coolest job in the world. Please keep in mind this post is about most of them, some are going to hate every minute no matter what we do!

I tell them I want to look at their muscles as I am tying he tourniquet on. I them tell them I am going to look for a gummy work in their arm. Then once I have found a good one I let them feel it!!! They love to feel the bounce! I understand they are not feeling the same thing I am. But I would never tell them that! Then we talk about the poke..."it is like a really big mosquito bite!" Then I do the stick and when the blood fills the tubes they get excited. I love when they are a little bit nervous then feel a burst of confidence, roll their eyes and say "That did not even hurt!"

Believe me I know for a fact that not all kids of this age are like this. I have had my fair share of WWF wrestling matches in the draw room. However this age is my favorite because for the most part they just fun!

Don't get me wrong I love all my patients! Some more than others and some very little. But there is always some amount of love. Like for some I LOVE when they leave! :)

I love the babies because they are just sweet and darling. I love preschoolers because they need mom and dad so much. And they are some of the bravest humans on the planet. I love the Teenagers because they want to be so tough. Yet a large number of them pass out and leave in wheelchair!! This is mostly the boys and I figure it is good for their ego's! I love my middle aged patients because they seem to have the most interesting and busy lives. I LOVE my elderly patients almost as much as the little ones. These guys have lived so many years and are full of stories!! They will tell you the funniest things and never forget you! I love to see them at the store and have them remember me. It makes me feel special that of all the things they have stored in their heads they have found a spot for me! The elderly are for sure some of the COOLEST people I know!

I guess I just wanted you all to know that I love my job! I don't know of many jobs that allow you to inflict pain, charge for it, and have a large clientele to boot!!! Life is good! And my job is FUN! And Gummy Worms, Stickers and Lolly Pops just make the world a better place!

Stretching.

There are many things that can be stretched. Taffy, gum, rubber bands, a dollar, Stretch Armstrong, your checkbook, a bungee cord. The list could go on and on. But it is late and I need to go to bed at sometime this night. On the contrary there are things that are not meant to be stretched. Your waist, your limbs, your sanity and your values. There are also some that may not be the easy to stretch but we tend to give it a good effort! Like time, we all seem to want more of that.

Do you ever feel you are stretched to the limit? I am talking you can feel the threads fraying in your rope? Well that is about where I am these days. Please don't think I am about to loose it. And that that all inclusive trip the to BHU is in my near future. That trip will probably happen in this life. But I feel confident it is a far way off! At least I think it is...

I just feel like I have nothing left to give. I am pulled in so many directions all of the time. My job needs me, my family needs me, my calling needs me, my friends need me, my laundry needs me, my bills need me, my phone is often ringing with some one that needs me on the other end, my bed needs me, I NEED ME!!! Please don't get me wrong I love and appreciate all of these things. Some more than others. For instance my family, my church, my friends, my bed, and my job. I could do without the bills, voicemail, and some parts of my job.

Please tell me I am not the only person out there that would love a few days to be selfish! I want to think about me and only me for about a week! I want to get a hotel, watch cable, go to the ice machine and wear my pj's til noon without judgement! I want to spend lots of money on me without regard to the fact that I could spend in elsewhere! I want to get in my car and drive until I run out of music! I want to forget my cell phone and find that I have not missed X# of calls. But rather that it sat there lifeless for a while.

I guess it is time to say I need a vacation. I need to get away from my life and "chillax" for awhile. I know that most of the pressure I am feeling is warranted. But some of it is simply because I am being to hard on myself. And I simply spread myself to thin. If I CAN make things fit into my life to help others out I truly try to make it work. Sometimes I drive myself crazy! Maybe it is because I have been around myself for so long. I think it is normal to start to bug yourself after this many years! I know how I want things to work in my head. But getting them to work outside of my head is sometimes hard! The word NO is not one that is often in my vocabulary. However I need to add it soon.

Well I am feeling a little better. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! I am sorry that the last couple of posts have not been the light fluffy stuff you are used to. Those post are about to make a come back into your world! But I just needed to vent for minute. And since the name of this blog is Aubrey's Outlet I will use it as such!

Thoughts...

Tonight I have a head full of thoughts all running about. Thoughts of all kinds funny, silly, strange, outlandish, sad, depressing, hopeful and even lame. But they are my thoughts and all I can do is try to sort them out! My life is in a sort of funk these days and I am not really sure why. Nor am I sure what to do about it. I have an amazing family, great friends, a good job, my dream car, roof over my head and testimony that my Heavenly Father is aware of and loves me. But...still things feel sort of BLAH. I try to be happy and upbeat all the time. But that is hard to do. I guess we all feel like this from time to time. I am just not used to it and to be honest I don't like it much. I don't feel it is a good look for me. Something like if I were to wear lots and lots of yellow. That is also not a good look for me. Maybe all of this has something to do with the number 28. Then again who knows 28 could become me new favorite number!!! But alas this is my life and I need to figure out a way to enjoy it...All of it! Now don't go getting all worried about me. I am fine I just needed to vent for a few minutes. Now I feel much better, and a little less funky! I think I need to go to bed. Like my mom as always said. Well 2 things...1.Things always look better in the morning. and 2. This to shall pass. I love my life I really do! Sometimes it is just hard to like it.

Hairballs, Heaving and Happenings!

We all know that there will come a time in our lives when we must purchase a bottle of Drain-o. This is not a purchase to be taken lightly. If you are at all like me then this may be a little glimpse into your own life... OK you there you are brushing your teeth or taking a shower. You notice the water is not leaving the premises as quickly as you would like. However is not taking so long that you feel there it is time to take measures toward fixing it! So you let it continue for a while, thinking it could have been a moment of insanity that caused you to think such foolish thoughts. You think to yourself that perhaps you were just in a hurry and impatient with said water. Then you let it continue a little bit longer, all the while getting rather annoyed. But now you know that you are not insane, but rather the water is truly starting to backed up. Now it is a matter of 2 things...1-Making a trip to the store to get a can of Drain-o. 2- Remembering when at the store to actually pick up said can of Drain-o. (I will admit it took me 3 trips before I remembered!) But then the time comes when you are not willing to put it off any longer. What is "The Moment?" I believe the breaking point for most people is very simple. There you are taking a shower, the water is hot, the soap is refreshing, all is well. Until you notice that your feet are taking a BATH! That is right there is now standing water in the bottom of the shower and something must be done NOW!!!

Instead of Drain-o Heather saved the day and come over with her Drain Snake!

You see I was there very thoughtfully looking over the many varieties of drain cleaner. Why must there be so many? If they all do the same thing why then do we need 12 options? It was at this point in my dilemma when Heather took pity on me. She said I could use her snake and take care of the problem. I told her SHE was more than welcome to come use her snake and take care of the problem. I told her I could not stomach it and there is no way I could dig things out of my drain! This is when she took pity on me once again and agreed to do the deed for me!

She came over tonight snake in hand and ready to take on the drain. I was doing OK being there watching her. That is until she began to pull and it just kept coming. It was like the handkerchief trick done by clowns across the world. But this was coming from the drain not a sleeve. I was actually sickened by the sight. I have to leave the room to avoid heaving! I must say this in our defense I do not believe the drain had been cleaned ever!

But now the drain is running smoothly! I am not out the money for a bottle of Drain-o that I do not believe would have done the job. I am positive that this was to much for that bottle of chemicals. I did however take Heather to dinner to pay her back! The drain-o may have been cheaper, but this way I was able to get a clean drain and dinner with Weasel!

In other news my job is going good. I am still not sure what I am doing most of the time. And I have noticed... Meeting, e-mails and "Can I talk you for a minute?" are never ending. I do not have the answers to most things, but I am willing to look into it. I know that working an 18 hour shift is really hard! Especially if you do that only 6 hours ofter a 10 hour shift. I am learning that saying no is not that hard. I am seeing how much stress I can handle. Much to my surprise it is more than I thought. It is nice to feel the respect and support form the team. I am enjoying most aspects of this new adventure. However it is OK to say I am looking forward to a vacation!

Oh and I have lost 16 lbs!!! Well on my way to reach one of my New Years Resolution's by my birthday! All in all life is good!